A moving story

Although some people pretend there is no harm in homosexuality, the reality is it is an evil bondage into which the devil hurls people. God, nature and logic are against homosexuality. The story below is a testimony to God's power to set all homosexuals free from that evil bondage.

A Former Lesbian’s Moving Testimony of Breaking Free From Homosexuality

By Matt Barber | charismanews.com

[Editor's note: I have come to know Wendy and her story through an amazing set of circumstances that only God could have arranged. She is a delightful woman who loves the Lord with all of her heart and has asked BarbWire to share her moving story of redemption and freedom from homosexual sin through the power of Christ Jesus. Wendy has said that it is her hope that her testimony might resonate with even one person who can relate to the circumstances that Satan used to lead her into the homosexual lifestyle. If you are that person, then you (and God) will know it. What the enemy intended for evil, God is using for incredible good in the life of Wendy. The same can be true for you. —Matt Barber]

My name is Wendy and I was born in a small town in Virginia. I was in church every time the doors were open for as far back as I can remember. I also attended the Christian school within my church that was rooted deeply in an Independent Baptist doctrine.

My mama was very sickly and was in and out of the hospital. I have a sister who is almost four years younger than me and a baby brother who only lived for three days and then passed away. Mama died Christmas of 1982 at the age of 32. At the time of her death, I was 11 and my sister was 7.

My dad was a rage-a-holic and an alcoholic. He had wanted a boy so badly and lost his one and only son. I believe he decided to make me his boy or at least that is how it seemed. Especially as I got older, he treated me differently than he did my sister. Here is an example: When I got my first car, before dad would give me the keys to drive it, I had to change the tire, without assistance, as he stood and watched. My sister, he just handed the keys.

My dad verbally and emotionally abused my family. He was a tyrant, and as a little girl I thought to myself, if all men are like my dad, then I want nothing to do with men. I made a vow to never get married because men were not safe.

Due to my family’s rigid and extremely conservative views, I knew that if I told them, they would not believe me. I remained painfully silent about being sexually abused.

     

My silence allowed Satan to cultivate a huge lie that confused my sexual identity. It was the birth of unnatural desires that would later manifest into full blown homosexuality.  

I was in so much pain and confusion that one day I found some relief … with alcohol. I finally found something that would numb me and I could check out of reality. My drinking continued to get worse and worse. It is only by God’s grace and mercy that I did not get a DUI, go to jail, kill somebody or myself.  I suffered with depression and often struggled with suicidal thoughts. One night I was drinking and was holding my loaded gun, trying to talk myself into pulling the trigger. God saved me that night from taking my life with a phone call. I fully believe I was going to kill myself that night but God’s loving grace and mercy poured out over me.

I had my first consensual sexual experience with a girl at the age of 15. This led me into one unhealthy relationship after another. But sleeping with women was “safe” for me. It was the easy way out considering my fear and hatred toward men. All of those relationships ended the same way; with shame, regret, hurt, unmet expectations, broken promises and emotional pain. Yeah, all that and then some! And to top it all off, I tried to drink it all away. The lie I bought from Satan was that Ijust hadn’t found the right girl … I just needed to find her. The problem was that there was no right girl. I was absolutely, completely out of the will of God and His divine plan for my life.

One day a girl who I was trying to hook up with invited me to church, and I strongly declined. She continued to ask me … So, I asked her, “If I agree to go with you to church ONE TIME, AND I DO MEAN ONE TIME, will you please stop asking me to go to church with you?” She agreed that if I would go one time that she would never ask me again, so I went. I remember it was in February 2007 on a Wednesday night. I cried like a baby through worship and for the first time in my entire life, I felt like I was HOME. I belonged.

I continued to go to church every time the doors opened. In April 2007, I rededicated my life to Christ. As a small child, I had made an emotional decision to be saved. I know today that I had never truly surrendered my life to follow Christ.

Note: The above story is from charismanews.com. You can also read a previous post on same sex union here.